When There Are No More Forks

20190830_165506.jpgThere is something strange at my workplace. As I write this, I feel the slight stab of irony.  There are lots of strange things at my workplace, but that is de rigueur for a band of ESL teachers.  Nonetheless, there is something strange at my workplace worth writing about.

We have a lunchroom, or break room, or kitchen area–it goes by a lot of different names. In its cupboards, there are things brought by teachers and members of the office staff.  There is a weird collection of coffee cups, glasses, plates of all sizes, souvenirs that were given to teachers but never made it to their homes, and a variety of utensils.  And this is where the weirdness comes in.

We get a steady flow of utensils in, but with freakish regularity, a particular type of utensil goes missing. Sometimes there are no spoons, and sometimes there are no forks.  Eventually someone goes to the dollar store, or finds a box of cutlery at a garage sale, or maybe brings their cast-offs from home.  Either way, the supply eventually gets replenished.  Currently there are no forks.

As ESL teachers love to banter and be as pseudo intellectual as the next person, a lot of questing and hypothesizing goes on. Recently these are the questions I have heard.

  • Where are all the forks? I saw a whole pile of them here just the other day.  Why is it just the forks (this time)?
  • Are people taking them home accidently?
  • Is someone taking them home on purpose?
  • Is it the same person?
  • Is someone throwing them out?
  • What can you get for a fork on the black-market?
  • Do you think someone has a huge drawer filled with all the utensils that have gone missing?
  • Why are there so many knives left?

Why do we have 25 sets of tongs? (See the photo above)

I don’t really know how to solve the mystery except setting up surveillance cameras.

Is there something that frequently goes missing in your workplace?

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About Anthony

I am: equal parts rebel, romantic and shockingly average Joe. a writer trapped inside of an ESL teacher's body. an introverted attention seeker. a teacher who hopes one day to be called "Captain, my Captain." an intellectual who can do some very dumb things. a person whose Japan experience, despite being so long ago, still exerts a strong influence upon him. a lover of books, music, beer, hockey and Pizza.
This entry was posted in Aspirations, Reflections, Perfection, co-workers, ESL, teaching, utensils, work and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to When There Are No More Forks

  1. leggypeggy says:

    I could use a spare set of tongs.

  2. Jinjer says:

    Hahaha it’s the same at our office! I mean, I work from home now, but we still have a physical office and the Executive Assistant for our office was always putting up funny signs demanding the return of our kidnapped forks or spoons that were missing. Sometimes the sign would appear during the slide presentation for our monthly staff meetings. I think people take a fork to eat their lunch, don’t want to walk it to the kitchen to wash it or put it in the dishwasher, and wait until they have like 8 forks in their desk drawer. If it wasn’t a violation of privacy, I would suggest doing a walk through and looking in everyone’s desk drawer. I’ll bet you’d find most of the forks.

    And yes, we have tons of tongs because everytime you have lunch catered from somewhere they bring tongs with them.

    Too funny.

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