The Consequences of Eating a Kit Kat the Wrong Way

kit kat and snow 003

My student eating a Kit Kat the wrong way.



So, in what should have been a nice gesture, my girlfriend packed a Kit Kat for dessert. We had just finished our meal of a delicious chicken sandwich at Chef Burger on Yonge Street, near Bantry-Scott, when she pulled out the mini bar from her purse.  Perhaps, if she had brought two of them, the whole terrible mess could have been avoided.  Alas, she had only brought one.

She offered to share it with me, and then added mischievously, “my way.” She bit the mini bar across the top, severing the two pieces in half without separating them.  Without separating them.  You see, we’ve been having a disagreement about the proper way, or if indeed there is a proper way, to eat a Kit Kat for most of our relationship.  I feel quite strongly that you should break off each piece and eat them separately.  She thinks nothing of biting off the top half of three or four of the sticks at a time like a barbarian.

I tried splitting the two half stumps, but she goaded me into eating them that way. When I finished, she asked if it tasted differently or if the world had fundamentally changed.  She felt pretty smug about the whole thing.

I tried to explain to her that it did indeed taste different. I felt as though the bar had lost half its character and essence.  I deeply regret my actions.  As for the world, I assert that perhaps the world has been shaken to its core.  Don’t be surprised if Sunrise is a minute or two later than it is supposed to be every day this week.

About Anthony

I am: equal parts rebel, romantic and shockingly average Joe. a writer trapped inside of an ESL teacher's body. an introverted attention seeker. a teacher who hopes one day to be called "Captain, my Captain." an intellectual who can do some very dumb things. a person whose Japan experience, despite being so long ago, still exerts a strong influence upon him. a lover of books, music, beer, hockey and Pizza.
This entry was posted in Aspirations, Reflections, Perfection, chocolate, ettiquette, kit kat and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to The Consequences of Eating a Kit Kat the Wrong Way

  1. Thank you for the giggle – as I sit in a Starbucks. If I do eat a Kit Kat of course it has to be broken into pieces! I was horrified to discover there is now a ‘normal’ Kit Kat bar! (Do you eat the red Smarties last?)
    On the relationship side of eating a Kit Kat sometimes we need our universe shaken up a bit to see through the eyes of another.

  2. retrodee says:

    LOL that’s great. And I agree with you. You MUST separate the bars. Not only that, I would eat the extra chocolate off the sides first, and then but the wafers off separately. But I’m a little neurotic when it comes to sweets anyway. 🙂

  3. Hunida says:

    It seriously made me cringe to see how your student bit the Kit Kat lol it truly does taste different that way…

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