People Don’t Meet That Way Anymore

Yesterday was night to catch up with one of my best friends over some food and a couple of pints at Hemmingway’s–a, perhaps, too trendy for me Yorkville bar/eatery that I often find myself at. Maybe, I just like the name.  Maybe, I am hoping it will rub off on my writing.  In case you didn’t know, Hemmingway was employed by the Toronto Star for a time–don’t ask me how long?  You can Google as well as I can.

I won’t bore you with the majority of our conversation. We’ve been friends for a long time.  We’ve got topics that only we understand.  However, my friend is a fountain of wisdom in areas I am not (hopefully vice versa is true) and while I was lamenting my state of my love life and the many attractive women I encounter but fail to make an impression on, he uttered some words that I feel compelled to restate, and beg for your opinion on.  Yes, I actually used the word BEG.

After hearing of the women I have met in bookstores, Chipotle, on the bus, and (most recently) waiting for bike maintenance, he uttered the following words.

“Do people meet potential dates like that anymore? Isn’t it all online?  Do people have chance encounters?”

The romantic in me wants to say yes. The romantic in me wants to find a woman through that chance encounter in a bookstore.  The romantic wants someone to discuss books, disagree about politics, contemplate the universe, and spontaneously hug trees.

If you’re wondering about the tree thing, it all stems from a woman named Joyce who was one of the earliest free spirits I met. Sadly, our paths crossed at the wrong time.

Getting back to the main point: is my friend right? Most people have urged me to do the online dating thing, but I have shrugged it off, repeatedly.  It’s gotten so bad that every time the subject comes up, and I delay, I get called on it.  I suspect they’re right, but since I suspect looks are the driving force behind more online dating (though I could be wrong) I don’t have the confidence.

Your input would be most welcome.


About Anthony

I am: equal parts rebel, romantic and shockingly average Joe. a writer trapped inside of an ESL teacher's body. an introverted attention seeker. a teacher who hopes one day to be called "Captain, my Captain." an intellectual who can do some very dumb things. a person whose Japan experience, despite being so long ago, still exerts a strong influence upon him. a lover of books, music, beer, hockey and Pizza.
This entry was posted in advice, Aspirations, Reflections, Perfection, chance meetings, dating, inspiration, inspiring, meeting people, online dating, recommendations and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to People Don’t Meet That Way Anymore

  1. shellaevans says:

    Maybe it’s the real thing now. But how can it be real when it’s online, uhh? Idk if I’m making a point though.

  2. shellaevans says:

    I’d take that as a compliment. Haha. But go try online.

  3. bgddyjim says:

    That’s how my brother met his wife. I met mine the old-fashioned way, but they didn’t have internet dating when we met. Give it a go!

  4. Celia says:

    I know of couples who’ve met online and seem quite happy… but maybe I’m like you, a bit more of a romantic. Having said that, I have been asked out while at a bookstore – the guy taps me on the shoulder and asks me to go have coffee with him, to which I quickly decline. I felt it was more awkward than romantic!

  5. Quinn says:

    I think that chance encounters happen BUT they’re not completely chance encounters, if you know what I mean. They’re friends of friends, or friends of friends of friends, or people you vaguely recognise from somewhere or something. They’re not complete strangers.

    I think online dating probably has its perks, but not Tindr. Tindr sounds like a disaster zone.

  6. bloggerlisahere says:

    When I doing that things (online dating) I also lost my confidence. I don’t know why ?!

  7. John says:

    I think there are two views of “online”…one is that it is an extension of real life and the view I hold which is that it is an extension of real life. I met my wife in a fairly traditional way. I was 28 and had rarely dated. I believed myself to be undateable. People of my height (at best 5ft 2) have problems. Anyway I met her when she drove a friend to my parents house and I didn’t see her again until 4 months later at a wedding and after 7 dates we were engaged. Life really can change quickly. and in two weeks we will be married 35 years……but I think that going online 19 years ago (AOL chat and Yahoo chat) extended my horizons. The Internet removes the problem of physical appearance. It really is head to head and heart to heart and it means that I COULD have develop re;ationships beyond friendship. Online people CAN look past the physical and b impressed by intelligence, humour and the rest. To some extent the pioneering days of the internet have been replaced by Twitter, Facebook etc….and the friendly casual nature of conversation has been lost. I don’t know if there are actually online “interest groups” like cycling, travel etc but I think that’s a better way than “dating” sites.

  8. L. Rorschach says:

    I met my ex husband online dating in 1998! We were pioneers. That said, I haven’t met anyone the old fashioned way since probably 1997. It just doesn’t happen for me! And I love online dating because it let’s me meet people I otherwise wouldn’t.

    • Anthony says:

      I have read a number of your posts and you seem to be quite successful.
      I know I should embrace it, but…fear of the unknown…fear of impolite rejection…..fear of fear.
      I resolve to conquer this after my vacation.
      Thanks for your important words.

      • L. Rorschach says:

        I’m eager to hear how it goes for you. Honestly, it’s just like any other dating method. It’s simply a way to meet people. The dating itself is the same.

      • Anthony says:

        I don’t think you should get too eager. I have much more confidence in my words than my looks. Which probably explains why I do not have a profile picture.
        However, since it is going to happen, I will let you know. Maybe I will have to start a new blog…

      • L. Rorschach says:

        Haha. OK, I’ll contain myself.

        Looks aren’t everything. Make an awesome profile! If your personality shines, women will see that.

      • Anthony says:

        Looks aren’t everything…..says the woman whose profile pic is awesome.
        I remember going to a party full of English teachers. When I said I was an ESL teacher ….well, I might as well have the plague.
        One of my colleagues (who I had tried to romance) told me that she was quite scrupulous about the grammar of any potential online partner. As a result, I can imagine only terrible things from an online encounter.

      • L. Rorschach says:

        If you’re an ESL teacher, your grammar must be quite good. Don’t worry about it! Also… the current “text speak” makes it nearly obsolete anyway. :-/ I’m a grammar stickler, though, so I get it.

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