The Curious Case of the Two-Fisted Drinker

What I have to write about today is not remarkable in any way. However, its absurdity…or profundity, since when it comes to my life on the bus, these two rather opposite things seem to share many characteristics in this universe. Much like a previous post (see here) it involves my fellow passengers and their perplexing abilities with beverages.

A rather comically dressed fellow (maybe he should be considered fashion forward and myself just a snob….) was sitting across from me on the bus. He was carrying two 500mL bottles.  He held one in each hand and had let the caps drop onto the seat beside him.  Had the bus been crowded, I am sure he would have insisted that these two plastic caps have their own seat regardless of anyone else’s discomfort.

As I was saying, he had tow opened bottles in his hands.

I really didn’t think much of it and was more concerned about the guy dressed head to toe in F1 labelled gear (McLaren—in case you were interested). At 10 o’clock in the morning he was busy sipping on a beer.  When I noticed the beer, I thought to myself that it was a bit early in the day to start drinking–but then I thought to myself that this might not be his first beer of the day.

Back to guy with the two drinks. The thought that came to mind was that he was “two-fisting his drinks.”  This is an expression we had in high school college, when you drank with a beer in each hand and gamely tried to even the liquids inside (usually in vain).  While I was thinking about the phrase “two-fisting” I noticed something odd.  He was drinking both drinks, but both drinks were not the same.

Theories anyone?

Here are mine (in no particular order)

  • One of them tasted bad so he used the other to mask the taste (not unlike my friend Mike who drank a heinous whisky and needed to chase the flavour away with something).
  • Both drinks were horrible, but in different ways and alternating them was a way of coping.
  • He liked both drinks equally and in a spirit of equality did not want to favour one drink over another.
  • He was colour blind and had no idea that they were different when he opened both of them.
  • People on my bus know I blog about them and he wanted to be featured on the blog.
  • He wanted to confuse me and other people on the bus with his strange but in no way threatening behaviour.
  • He has some kind of personality quirk that makes two fisting drinks seem normal.
  • He likes mixed cocktails, but is too lazy to mix them.

If you have any ideas, please let me know.




About Anthony

I am: equal parts rebel, romantic and shockingly average Joe. a writer trapped inside of an ESL teacher's body. an introverted attention seeker. a teacher who hopes one day to be called "Captain, my Captain." an intellectual who can do some very dumb things. a person whose Japan experience, despite being so long ago, still exerts a strong influence upon him. a lover of books, music, beer, hockey and Pizza.
This entry was posted in Aspirations, Reflections, Perfection, beer, beverages, blogging, commuting, drinks, food, hydration, lifestyle, unbelievable, words, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to The Curious Case of the Two-Fisted Drinker

  1. He’s ambidextrous and didn’t want the other hand to feel lonely?

  2. PS Never quit riding the bus. So.much.material.

  3. Brittany says:

    Your bus stories are just too good. Double fisting to have a bottle in each hand depending on which side an attacker comes from.

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