Kinder Disappointment

I don’t even know where to begin this blog.  In my head I have two opening paragraphs.  This always happens when I feel the need to rant a little.  I don’t know if I should shout and scream first then explain my past history, or if I should moralize first.  A writer should write whatever is catchier first.  The problem is that I don’t know which one is.  Whichever one I choose, please understand that I have probably flip flopped on the opening several times before I started this one.

As some of you know, I am an ESL teacher.  I teach English to people from other countries who have taken time off work or studies to improve their languages.  Along with their eagerness and good intentions,  they bring their homesickness, their procrastination and their complaints about food.  Years of experience has produced a thick enough skin to deal with it.  Also, sometimes they try to prove it to me by providing examples of their food.  Sometimes what they give me is great, sometimes interesting and sometimes ….. there really is no need for me draw you a picture.

I recall vividly an occasion in which my students were all eating Kinder Eggs.  This didn’t appear to me to be an example of the above.  We can buy Kinder eggs in many stores, so again, I wasn’t really paying attention–that is until I saw the rather interesting toys they put together from these eggs.  I was impressed.  I was interested.

I got pretty excited when another student gave me one.  I imagined that I would get a fantastic gadget or some other remarkable thing.  I mean, when you Google Kinder Surprise, you see some fantastic crap.  Unfortunately, what I got was the Kinder version of a lump of coal.  No cars.  No rockets.  No uber cool sculpture.  Instead, I got a Kinder butterfly–a small plastic clip and a piece of paper.  Thanks Kinder.

So began my boycott of Kinder products.  This boycott has endured for years.  Until today, I have barely glanced at these things in the store.  I have not bought one.  I have refused them when offered.  I have denounced them to everyone who listened.

Today, while at Easter dinner, my sister provided one for everyone sitting at the table.  She even when the extra Martha Stewart mile and put them in hard boiled egg cups.  I decided to give them another chance.

Two things informed this decision.  I didn’t want to be a complete buzzkill, or hurt my sister’s feelings.  Secondly, this year has been about thinking positively and overcoming all kinds of negativity.  I have been told that if you think positively and believe yourself worthy of good things, good things will come to you.  While shopping today I thought positively and kept calm and good results followed.  We found a relatively close parking spot.  We got our hands on one of the highly coveted small shopping carts.  I even got a half smile from an attractive woman in yoga pants.   I figured the universe was telling me I was on the right track.  Thanks universe.  I suspect that you are just messing with me.

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Back to the Kinder eggs.  Out of the six eggs, my prize was the worst.  There were cool robots, motorcycles with friction engines, dinosaurs and other stuff.  I got….look at the pictures.  It’s a horse one way (right) and a squirrel if you turn it upside down (left).  While exponentially better than the butterfly of years past, I cannot call this a win.  I didn’t even enjoy the chocolate that much because I really prefer dark chocolate.  All I can do is reinstate the boycott.


In an effort to get more readership to my blogs, I am signing up with bloglovin as recommended by one of the blogs I am following.  They need me to add some text to my blog to verify something.  I was just going to imbed the text, but I thought I had better include a sentence or two–just in case the text appears strange.

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About Anthony

I am: equal parts rebel, romantic and shockingly average Joe. a writer trapped inside of an ESL teacher's body. an introverted attention seeker. a teacher who hopes one day to be called "Captain, my Captain." an intellectual who can do some very dumb things. a person whose Japan experience, despite being so long ago, still exerts a strong influence upon him. a lover of books, music, beer, hockey and Pizza.
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9 Responses to Kinder Disappointment

  1. Anthony says:

    I forgot to mention. This required no assembly whatsoever. None. Just what kind of surprise is that.

  2. bgddyjim says:

    Brother, you have got a bad attitude. The crappy gift was the universe balancing itself for the hottie in yoga pants. I’ve never even received a kinder egg. Now, I could go on about my bad luck in that regard. OR, I could be thankful that I got a mountain bike instead… Yup, a mountain bike is better than a kinder surprise.

  3. Mark says:

    Anthony you should read Kinder eggs and women in yoga pants are just circumstances.

    • Anthony says:

      I have read this–and certainly my bummer days are not really terrible. I just wanted to rant about kinder eggs in a light hearted way–they have burned me twice and I won’t let it happen again.

      • Mark says:

        Fair enough. I have gone on Blog Rants myself. I always try to stay positive most of the time, even when it feels the ground is crumbling below my feet.

  4. Celia says:

    Haha too funny. This reminds me of bonbons at Christmas time. They are usually full of useless toys, but I guess at least it’s something fun to do with someone!

    • Anthony says:

      It is the same thing with the Christmas Crackers–My sister loves doing those too–I just wanted to let off a little steam, and I wanted to write something. Had I been really angry I would have written to the Kinder people directly.
      Thanks for commenting.

  5. Pingback: Kinder Redemption | Today's Perfect Moment

  6. Anonymous says:

    Yah it is something to do. Complain and you will be making the homemade Christmas Crackers. 😘

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